


Torn from the Pages of Your Favorite Japanese Mangas

by Banterwitch



Series: anime is gay culture [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Anime Club, Weebs, actual anime, mild panic attacks, minor davekat, minor jake/tav, minor roxy/calliope/jade/nepeta, nonbinary guy Roxy, pranking as a form of flirting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:49:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24369877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Banterwitch/pseuds/Banterwitch
Summary: Your name is Dirk Strider and in a turn of events that shocks absolutely no one, you have a John Egbert on your lips. You have no idea how you got here except maybe if you thought about it every single playfully flirtatious argument the two have had since he joined your anime club last year.John is unbanned from anime club. Not because Dirk likes him or anything, baka.
Relationships: John Egbert/Dirk Strider
Series: anime is gay culture [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701628
Comments: 9
Kudos: 83





	1. Unbanned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation from "John Egbert Is Banned" because I felt like this was its own beast. Please read that one first!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kind comments so far! I hope some people can enjoy this self indulgent AU as much as I am.

Your name is Dirk Strider and in a turn of events that shocks absolutely no one, except you and maybe Tavros, you have a John Egbert on your lips.

You have no idea how you got here except _maybe_ if you _thought_ about it every single playfully flirtatious argument the two have had since he joined your anime club last year.

Except you're _NOT_ thinking about it coz you _HATE_ John Egbert and playfully flirting and smooching were never things that crossed your mind concerning this asshole.

John pulls away.

"You're kinda stiff, dude" he says.

"Huh?" is all you manage to get out before he's taking your hands and wrapping them around his waist. Yeah, you'd pretty much been standing there like frigid statue while an irritating but admittedly attractive boy was smooching the heck out of you, so that's kind of embarrassing. You're not very good at physical contact at the best of times. You just went to the damn bathroom and he ambushed you when you returned, shouting "boo!" before kissing you with no warning, the asshole.

You guess he did kinda... pin you kabedon style against the lockers, and grin softly at you whilst inches from your face and leaning in super slow. And it's possible you literally launched your face at his...

It may be that John Egbert's lips just short circuited your brain.

"You OK, Dirk?" he asks, attempting to look through your bitchin shades to your eyeballs, well good luck there mister. These are an impenetrative sheild of--actually you know what if you're gonna be making out you better just take these off. If that's the thing you're doing now. It's much easier this way, you know from experience.

You tell him as much and tuck the shades into the hem of your fucking cool shirt with a samauri dude on it. There, much safer.

Wether Egbert is safe from them or they are safe from Egbert, you can't decide which is the priority.

John is back on you the moment you look up which is much better than him trying to gaze into your eyes some more, so you guess your removing your shades for the sake of macking was probably the green light he was looking for.

As long as you're doing this you guess your hands should go on his waist and you _guess_ you should probably move your mouth or something-- _what the fuck Dirk you've definitely done this before, stop making it look like EGBERT has the upper hand here--_

You're then interrupted by a loud " _HAAAH_!" down the corridor, where Terezi is standing watching the two of you with unbridled glee. You very smoothly and subtly shove John five feet away from you in an attempt to make it look like you weren't doing what you were doing--except you're not even sure why you're doing that because you're incredibly openly gay, it's none of her business, and also she's blind?

"I can smell Yaois when I smell it, boys" she cackles dramatically "also like, I'm not completely blind, even from here I could see that you two were in very close proximity to one another. Not to mention that incriminating shove! You've been caught red handed boys! How do you plead!"

John looks to you and then back at Terezi,  
"Wait, is kissing in the school corridor illegal?"

"You better hope it iiiiiiiisn't" she sings as she shuffles backwards into the classroom.

John watches her shimmy away, then turns back round to you, softly laughing, his eyes creased from grinning. For a whole hot second you forget how much of a pain in your ass he is. He has exactly that kind of big, buff, yet cute and ridiculous dork thing you have an oddly specific attraction to. God, _and_ he has awful taste in movies. What is _wrong_ with you. _Why is this your type_.

John carries on grinning widely at what you too late realise is your exposed face. God, you hope you weren't doing anything weird with it. You slap your shades on a bit more forceably than is ideal and give him a stoic nod. He speaks Strider, he'll know what it means.

You then step around him and dash back into the classroom before he can say another word or do any other thing to you.

* * *

The next day, John takes his usual seat at his usual table in the cafeteria where hes sat with his best friends every lunch since they started high school. The same they did when they were at middle school too. Dave and Rose, and your little sister Jade. Over the years other friends and family members had joined them too, but never Dirk. John has no idea where he goes for lunch. He probably eats alone in the bathroom or something, haha.

Today, Dave and Karkat are already there eating when John happily plops himself opposite them. They both give him a wary look.

"So how did it go" Karkat speaks up first.

"What, my math test?" John asks, unwrapping his packed lunch.

"No dickhead not your _math test_. We don't give a shit about your _math test_. Your grades are far less important than your _physical safet_ y!" 

"You went to anime club yesterday." Dave clarifies.

"Oh yeah! Anime club was cool." John bites into a sandwich, "What's wrong with my safety?"

"We're just kinda concerned that you decided to go back to that club since my bro has been threatening to murder you for a whole summer."

John laughs, mouth half full of his sandwich, "Dirk? Haha, that loser. Its all cool now! I returned his dvds and now we're like best friends."

The boys look at him with identical deadpan stares.

"He said he'd skewer you on his prized katana if you set foot in the room."

"Weapons are banned from anime club, Dave!"

"Seriously, dude." Dave leans forward, brows lightly creased in concern, "Don't underestimate him."

John puts down his food, raising a sceptical eyebrow in return.

"I'm speaking as someone whose been ambushed by the guy many times. So many times, dude. He will catch you when you least expect it, I'll be all chilling and next thing I know he's wrestled me to the ground just coz I ate the last of his cereal or some shit." 

John tries to avoid grinning at the thought of Dirk wrestling him to the ground.

Karkat says defiently, "I'm convinced the guy is an egomaniac dickwad and if you carry on provoking him you're gonna get your moronic ass handed to you." 

"Yeah, that's basically my point." Dave agrees.

"Well thanks for the concern guys, I'll watch my back..." John carries on eating with an air of contemplation. Was Dirk really gonna ambush him and hand him his butt? That wasn't what you experienced yesterday in the corridor.

Rose and Kanaya arrive at the table, each with a tray from the cafeteria.

"John, you're alive." Rose remarks casually, taking the spot next to him.

"Yes, yes" John rolls his eyes "I have not been skewered on Dirk's shitty sword."

Rose grins and raises an eyebrow at Kanaya next to her. Oh _haha_. John rolls his eyes again, then laughs privately to himself. If only they knew what Dirk really did with him at anime club yesterday! 

He'd prefer to keep that to himself for now. 

"Is this everyone?" Kanaya swiftly changes the subject.

"Yeah, Jade is hanging out with the other nerds today" Dave replied. She'd been sitting with Nepeta a lot recently. 

"Ah yes, their double date." Rose smirks, spotting them across the hall sharing a table with Rox and Calliope.

"Rose, with that logic this would be a double date too." Kanaya notes, then looks at John. "--plus John."

"Maybe we should invite Dirk--" Rose mutters into her glass, low enough that the others either don't hear or pretend not to. 

"WAIT A MINUTE" John suddenly jumps, "Jade and _Nepeta_???"

"Well I couldn't say for sure, just something I'm picking up on." Rose muses. 

"They're obnoxious as fuck when together, but I have to agree something is going on there." Karkat chimes in.

"I think they're very sweet."

" _Too_ sweet, I wanna barf just looking at them."

"wait wait wait wait..." John interrupts, still confused, "I thought Nepeta was dating that big sweaty guy?"

"I couldn't say the exact nature of her relationship with said Sweaty Guy, but I wouldn't rule out the possibility of Nepeta being interested in more than person, John."

"More than one person?" John feels more confused than before. "Like, two timing? Is my sister a mistress!?"

"Don't worry about it dude," Dave pats John's arm. "We'll teach you all about the complexities of consensual non-monogamous relationships once you've handled the basics of Dating 101."

John scoffs. He's dated before. He's not completely clueless.

"Dont be a condescending shit, Dave" Karkat snaps, "you've been in exactly one relationship and I can personally and confidently say that you're not exactly an expert." 

"Whatever dude, I'm the master of relationships. I've got this shit down, don't even lie."

"You're a mediocre paramour and it's time to face the fucking facts."

"That's not what you said last night."

"OH SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP STRIDER WE WEREN'T EVEN TOGETHER LAST NIGHT."

"How can you say this, you wound me babe."

"YOU WERE HOME PLAYING FUCKING MINECRAFT AND CONSTANTLY SENDING ME SCREENSHOTS OF YOU MAKING DICKS OUT OF BLOCKS WHILE I WAS TRYING TO WORK ON MY SOCIOLOGY REPORT WHICH YOU KNOW I NEED TO GET DONE FOR MY EXTRA CREDIT--"

Rose and Kanaya calmly eat thier food unfazed by the scene. John finishes up and announces his departure to anyone listening, leaving before Karkat can get in trouble for swearing in the cafeteria yet again.

* * *

The bell rings to signify the end of seventh period, and John and Dave make thier way to thier lockers. You know you're the best of bros when even your lockers are close. 

John swings his open and a plethora of plush buttocks and felt dongs cascade right into his face. A good few dozen smuppets in all different colours spill out of the locker onto the floor as the groups of students stop to work out what they are witnessing exactly. John--no stranger to Dirks weird plushie creations at this point with all the times he'd been to Dave and Rose's place--bursts out laughing, doubling over in the sea of colourful felt.

"He-- fucking--!" John splutters between laughs and breaths "he's so shitting-- ridiculous I can't believe--!"

"What the fuck!" Dave instinctively leaps away from the smuppet spillage, all too familiar with the experience himself, "Are you alright, dude..." 

"brought in-- a million fucking-- smuppets-- to _SCHOOL_ \-- broke into my locker-- some how-- and--" John gasps for breath and wipes his eye, "he could have just stolen my gym kit or something! Why the fuck, oh my god I can't--" and bursts out laughing again, "Your brother is such a fucking _dork_!"

"That's for scratching disk seventeen, Egbert."

An ominous voice calls from down the hall. John looks up for the culprit but can't for the group of people the smuppet-scade has attracted.

"I didn't even get that far!" He calls out, "It must have been already scratched."

Dave stands uselessly to the side, avoiding contact with the plush heathens, and staring and his oldest and best buddy with bafflement. He knows John likes a dumb prank, but surely this isnt _that_ funny? Just standing here in the vicinity of it Dave feels a sting of secondhand humiliation. John looks like this is the best thing that's ever happened to him. Grinning and shaking his head at the display before him, John nudges a smuppet with his foot.

"You mean to say," a flat voice speaks from directly behind John, both him and Dave jumping a little in surprise, "you had those disks. For _TWO_ months. And you didn't even fucking _watch them_."

Dirk is standing right by John's shoulder, still and stoic, close enough that John doesn't even need to turn around to look at him.

"Psssh I watched like, six disks? It was alright it just got a bit boring. Like, we _get_ it. They're ninjas."

"You didn't even get through the Chūnin Exams Arc? I told you it starts getting good when--"

"Uh bro?" Dave interrupts "This is a great scene, reenacting like a teen movie cliche of shit falling out of a locker, with your signature creepy puppets, the irony points here are off the chart, it can't even see the chart, but like-"

"Yeah Dirk this was a pretty good prank! I'm impressed!"

John spins around and beams at the boy behind him. He makes no effort to change the close proximity between them. Dirk's brows ever so slightly crease,

"This isn't a prank. This is a fucking message."

"That I'm gonna get a face full of plump ass if I don't stop messing with you?" John smirks, and he swears he sees Dirk go a little red.

Dave still has no idea what's going on. 

"So like... bro... can we clear these guys up, your prime goods are getting all shitty on the greasy school floor."

" _Yeah_ Dirk, what am I supposed to just scoop these up and like, return them to you- _how_? Don't these take you ages to make? Are they a present? How did you even get them all to _school_!"

Dirk abruptly turns and walks away down the corridor like his job here is done despite the fact that he didn't really do anything.

"I'll bring them round later Dirk!" John calls sweetly after him "I'll take care of them don't worry!"

"What the actual dick is going on with you two." Dave says in disbelief.

"What do you mean, he just did this super cool prank. See, we're like best buds! Now help me gather them up, I'm gonna cover them in goofy faces."

________

You are once again Dirk Strider, and you are spending another typical evening shitting around on your computer. Your computer isn't the only thing you shit around on, but your computer based hobbies and projects have taken a bit of neglect since you decided to dedicate your entire evening yesterday stocking up on freshly sewn smuppets to troll John with. You made so many damn smuppets. It was so worth it. The desired outcome wasn't quite what you'd planned on, but you made your message heard. Dirk Strider is not to be fucked with.

You're wearing headphones, listening to some lo fi anime beats, so its only your hyper spacial awareness that alerts you to something moving outside your window. Usually it's just some birds, which barely ever scare the crap out of you anymore, but birds don't usually slam themselves against your window.

 _Usually_.

You sidestep to the window to investigate. It's probably just one of your siblings fucking around with a science experiment or practising the occult, but you would be a fool to let that catch you off guard. Another object hits your window. Bright lime green and suspiciously plush.

Oh goddammit. 

You open the window. A goofy grin and blue eyes under messy black hair is looking up at you.

"Hey Dirk!" he calls cheerfully, "just returning your toys!"

"they're _NOT_ \--" 

"Catch!!"

He reaches into the huge garbage bag at his feet and launches another smuppet at your face.

You realise you weren't really sure what you expected him to do with them once they'd been released from his locker. Metres of felt and your hard manual labour weren't of much value to you, you guess.

"Not gonna lie this is romantic as fuck but I have a front door," you remark, snatching it out of the air.

"Don't wanna wake the others!" he yells, yeeting another.

"No one in this house sleeps and you know it."

You kinda hope no one else is witnessing this though. You know John knows where you live, he's been friends with your younger siblings since middle school, but you feel a bit trepidatious for some reason. Is it trepidation? Some kind of jittery feeling you're not used to. Kind of like when you two... yesterday...

You spend a few minutes in a surreal game of throw-and-catch-the-smuppet, like you're engaging in some kind of sports ball, which neither of you have ever done in a real capacity. A few smuppets miss the mark and fall back onto the yard but John scurries around making sure every one reaches the goal. He's laughing breathlessly and you can't help but find yourself enjoying the game too, showing off your peak reflexs by avoiding any of them actually planting your face despite his best attempts.

The shananigans apparently distract you long enough that you don't notice--he's defaced them. Every last one. Which is a weird move, theyre already ridiculous on thier own. He's given them all varying facial features--mouths, eyebrows, glasses, moustaches, freckles, cat whiskers--If anything what he's done here is made them look cute. God damn what an Egbertian move.

"You've returned them to me damaged. They've completely lost thier market value. You owe me $10,000"

"What market value! No one buys these things!"

"You have no idea, John. These are hot items on the interwebs. How'd you think you think I keep myself kitted in sweet authentic ninja gear."

"I thought you bought your swords at that anime store in the mall." 

You mutter " _fuck_ " to yourself.

"That's the last of them! See you at school tomorrow!"

He waves enthusiastically and you nod back, tempted to ask if he can yeet himself in through your window. But he turns and absconds into the night, and you watch him get into a parked car accross the street and get driven away. Did his dad seriously drive him out here at ten o clock on a school night to throw a bag full of crass puppets through a boy's window.

You assess your new pile of defiled smuppets. You guess you only use them for target practice, they're still perfectly useable.  
You pick up a blue one, now with rectangle glasses and a buck toothed smile drawn on it. You pop it next to your computer and try to get back to your projects without thinking too much about real life buckteethed smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never watched Naruto in my life. I had to search reddit for "when does naruto get good"
> 
> I apologise for switching between 2nd and 3rd perspective. It's just what worked best for me. I will make it very clear, homestuck style, when the perspective switches.
> 
> Shout out to anyone reading this that knows me from the london homestuck meets. Youve probably heard me rant about DirkJohn and them fighting and falling in love over anime. Can't wait for AnimeStuck when quarentine is over, I miss y'all ❤️


	2. Inuyasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk/Big Macintosh is canon and James Cameron's Avatar is my favourite anime.

"--and that's why we no longer are allowed to do bring-and-swap manga in this club. Anyone borrowing certified media from the club library must fill out a request form with your phone number and home address, and you will be held responsible--" 

Your name is Dirk Strider and its the second anime club meeting of the year. So far there have been no fuck-ups. You fully intend to keep it that way. You continue to address the whole group while your eyes drift behind your shades to your far right at a boy with wavy dark hair. He's got his cheek squished against the hand holding up his head, sprawled accross the desk he's sat at and legs swinging aimlessly. You are focusing entirely on the important words you are lecturing to your club attendees, but you really want to go over there and kick at his damn legs to stop them distracting you. 

Letting him back in the club was going to turn out to be a mistake, you could feel it. Damn him and his stupid-- being cute. And stupidly kissable. 

You absolutely do not focus on that thought and you continue your presidential duties with the upmost professionalism. 

"Reminder to everyone that next week we will be deciding as a group the rest of the anime viewings up until winter break. I will be accepting requests via anonymous submission. Myself and Nep will then select the viewings from these submissions."

"What happened to your Pre Approved List?" 

"It was brought to my attention that the list was 'too restrictive'" You reply coolly, complete with finger air quotes. "Plus, we've already covered most of my list in previous semesters. 

"Now, as well as following our club's core rules--" 

Dirk taps at the words scrawled on the white board, ' _No dubs, No Avatar, No SAO_ '. 

"--I remind you that we're not allowed to watch anything with sexual content. Violence is fine, go nuts with the violence, but if we show anything remotely horny Principle Wayward will shut us down for good."

"And Evangelion _isn't_ horny?" 

"Eva doesn't get horny til... At least episode five or six. We won't watch be watching that far. Anyway--" 

Nepeta and Jade are huddled together at the desk directly in front of you of chanting, " _Inuyasha, Inuyasha, Inuyasha_ ". You guess it's time for some fucking anime. 

"Alright, today's anime is Inuyasha. I didn't pick it, but it's pretty decent. It's from the early 2000s, ran for 196 episodes, it's technically shoujo but has elements of action and supernatural-" 

"Just show us the furry shit already." Sollux groans loudly. 

"OK fine, there's a dog boy hes part demon and a tsundere that's all you really need to know. Itadakimasu."

Nepeta leaps up to set up the DVD and you find yourself a seat, pointedly to the left of the classroom. 

"Heeeeeeeey, weeb boy. How's this shit show of a club going? We doing the same boring BS as usual?" 

Unfortunately in your attempt to avoid John fucking Egbert you have placed yourself right next to Vriska fucking Serket. She has her feet up on her desk, arms folded, face crinkled in a disgruntled expression as if you'd just crawled from the dirt off the bottom of her boots. Terezi is sat behind her, playing with her long bushy hair like she's trying to style it into the biggest mess possible. 

"If by 'same boring BS' you mean following my fine tuned itinary, then yes" You respond flatly. 

"Itinery? You _PLAN_ this shit?" She spits obnoxiously back at you. "You don't just fill a classroom with manga and pens and weebs and spend the whole meeting arguing with some other nerd over One Piece lore? Man, if I ran this club it would be soooooooo much better. We'd do actual activities and shit. What happened to katana dueling? That was a good time!"

"The school shut down the club and Damara almost got expelled."

"I thought that was coz she was smoking weed in here?" 

"That was what got her actually expelled"

"Whiska!" Nepeta chimes in as she fiddles with the dvd start menu, "You know if you have any ideas for group activities you can suggest them to us!" 

"How about _Whissskkaaaa_ runs for club president when Dirk graduates?" Terezi teases, peering her head over Vriska's shoulder. 

"Well, I think as vice purrsident that role gets passed to me--" 

"Pffft, like I'd watse my time running this dumpster shit!" Vriska scoffs dramatically, "Yeah, like I wanna be _Anime Club President_ , why don't you just crown me worlds biggest _LOSER_." 

"but Vriiisskaaa, you'd make it actually fun!" Terezi whines. 

"The club wouldn't last a week without getting shut down under her direction." You say curtly "There's a reason I do things the way I do around here. I've had this club for _a year and a half_. I built this thing with own two hands. I've seen some shit."

You stand and loom over Vriska's desk, pushing her feet aside to lean towards her. She tuts at you petulently. 

"You are not going destroy this." 

You spin on the spot and walk away. Oh damn yeah, message recieved. 

" _URGH_ why are you all so laaaaaaaame!" 

You're so distracted by your dramactic exit from the conversation that you don't notice the two late-comers hovering by the classroom door until you're close to walking straight into them.

You really didn't expect your ex to ever show up here. 

He's here with that kid that was here last week - Travis or something. I mean, he's a Junior, you just think he's kinda. Small. And weedy. And completely uninteresting. 

But seeing as Jake is still technically your friend, you're happy for him. He actually seems happy. Huh. 

They're not PDAing but Jake has his arm swung over the kids shoulders--overbearingly so--and the little guy is ducking and blushing under the weight of it.

You guess Jake managed to hook up with the one guy in this school more passive than himself. Gotta give him credit for that.

They're both smiling though, like genuinely smiling and making soft eyes at one another like each has finally found another person in this crazy cruel world that understands and appreciates them. 

You'll admit it gets a little under your skin that he managed to get with someone else before you did. 

But you do have to consider the fact that he's pretty universally and generically attractive, and you're the president of a high school anime club that doesn't hang out with any other people--

"Dirk!" 

Jake spots you and beams, jovial as ever. You've probably been staring at him for 10 entire seconds. He bounds over to you, his new boyfriend at his heel, "My good chap Tavros here told me he had a blast last week! I never really got the appeal of these foreign cartoons of yours but I rather fancied giving it another whack myself!" 

You'd dated for almost eight months, from the summer after Sophomore year til Junior spring break--but not once did he come to this stupid club that meant so much to you. Frankly there was a stretch of time when it had been a sanctuary away from him, both before and after your tragically dramatic break up. 

"I rather enjoyed your flyers with the drawings! Although I must ask - what have you got against Avatar? That film is fantastic!" 

You take a deep breath in and out. 

"Neither the Nickelodeon animated series nor the James Cameron motion picture are Japanese productions." You very patiently explain.

"I'm not sure what you mean, but I just think that's a damn good movie!" 

_Why is this your type_. 

* * *

"Hey Nep, how come your boyfriend doesn't come to anime club?" Vriska calls part way through the first episode, obviously losing interest already. She seems oblivious or at least indifferent to the fact that Terezi is building a nest of pens in her hair. 

"What! I don't have a boyfwend!" Nepeta protests. 

"Yeah, that guy you're always hanging out with, and he like--carries you around?" Terezi joins in, threading another pen like she's playing Jenga with Vriska's head. 

"Equius is not my boyfriend!" 

"Equius--really? That's his name? Poor kid." 

"He's just my best best best best _best_ friend in the whole world! We're not dating or anything!" She nervously adds, "I don't want anyone to think I'm not... Available..." 

You raise an eyebrow. You know about her longtime unfortunate crush on Karkat, but that ship has long long _looong_ sailed. Right into your brothers arms. And on your sofa when you accidently walk in on them making out. And he doesn't even come to anime club. You'd grill her on it but then she'd see that as an invitation to talk about _your_ love life and that's not a vampire you want coming in through your door. 

"So why isn't he here?" 

"Oh, Eq-qwe doesn't like anime." she sighs plaintively. "He's more into stuff like MLP." 

"Oh my god" John gasps. "your boy friend likes the ponies!?" 

" _NOT_ my-" 

"your not-boyfriend likes the Ponies!!" John says excitedly. 

You feel your stomach drop.

"Diiiiirk!" He slowly turns to face you. You're looking pointedly away from his face all lit up with excitement and mischief. 

"We should totally have a Pony week!" He grins. 

"MLP. Is _not_. An anime." You say through gritted teeth. 

John gasps again, "You should start a Lil Pony CLUB!" 

"It's _MY LITTLE PONY_ and-" 

"It's _YOUR_ lil pony?" John says with a shit eating grin. 

"Its called My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and shut the fuck up." 

" _Duuuuuuuurrrrrk_!" Nepeta squeals ecstatically "you like MLP?" 

"No." You lie. 

"Duuuuuuuurk!" John joins in "You so do! Your favourite is the rainbow one!" 

"Please stop." 

"Rainbow Dash!" Nepeta exclaims, waving the hand pockets of her furry hat, "My favourite is Fluttershy! Eq-qwe likes Rarity, we were thinking of cosplaying-" 

"I only watch that show for the sake of understanding and critiquing cultural-" You state. 

"Then why do you have her on your bed sheets?" John says innocently. 

You don't know wether to throw him or yourself out the window. 

You settle for getting up and absconding to the empty corner where you keep the clubs manga library. You busy yourself organising them, pointedly ignoring the hushed giggling. 

"how does he know what his bedsheets look like..." 

"Coz they're fucking, duh." 

You go rigid--more than usual--and try to work out without looking, if there was a chance Jake didn't hear that. Not that it mattered. Just that it kinda maybe mattered on account of the fact that John and Jake were related (like, cousins or something?) and that might make things weird. Plus if you were gonna be 'fucking' someone right now you wanted it to be someone cooler than John fucking Egbert. You had to be with someone better than Tavros, and that certainly wasn't John. John was maybe equal to Tavros. 

You catch sight of Jake but he's already making his way over here. _Fuck_. 

Jake makes himself comfortable in your personal space, leaning over to ask under his breath, "I dare say Dirk, have you been holding out on me? Are you courting our Johnny boy?" 

You internally groan, replying with a much practised deadpan with hint of exasperation, "No Jake, we are not. _Courting_." 

"Oh? That's a shame, I would say you seem like a neat pair!" 

You scoff. No accounting for tatse. No matter how much of a self-burn that probably is. 

You wouldn't date John. John Egbert, the guy that tried to get your club to watch The Real Ghostbusters on multiple occasions. Who seems to want to make your life in this club as annoying as possible, and yes admittedly has seen your bedsheets but only because hes your siblings' dumb friend and is over all the fucking time and admittedly did make a point to go into your room, comment on your bedsheets, and lay seductively on them in an attempt to mock your personal interests which made you leave the room because you were exasperated and not at all flustered--

"Is there anyone you _are_ seeing right now?" Jake queries. 

You may have also had a somewhat meaningful 45 minutes where he expressed an interest in a show you liked and you started watching it together and then Dave called him through because thier pizza had arrived and you said _hey he could borrow the boxset of he likes_ , and then he didn't even _FUCKING_ watch-

"The only love in Dirk's life is Rainbow Dash." John chimes in from Dirk's other side. His arm brushes against yours and you grit your teeth again. 

How much of that did he hear? And why are these assholes so oblivious to your personal boundries. 

"Oh yes, the pony!" Jake recollects fondly. 

"yeah! She's his _wife-fu_ for _life-fu_..." 

You can't believe you actually kissed him. You can't believe you kissed him on the mouth and took your shades off in front of him to do so. You didn't do that for weeks with Jake, and even then you regretted it. 

"He does take a bit of a fancy to that horse. But I think you might be mistaken John, Dirk is only interested in men." 

You think you'd like to slam your hand into your face. And through your face. And then through Jake's face.   
Yes Jake, we'll all aware that Dirk is gay! You don't have to remind us! Not right now while John is practically leaning on you. 

"Hmm, are there any male horses in My Little Pony?" John exaggeratedly ponders. 

Jake's limited knowledge of the show from the handful of times he watched it with you kicks in, "oh yes there is there's um... Apple Jack!" 

"She's a girl." You remind him, exasperated deadpan on point. 

"Oh no, not that one-- er-- the one that's also got an apple on thier bottom... the kind of... big guy, muscular chap... " 

"Ooooh?" John pipes up, nudging Dirk. 

"Come on Dirk, what's his name? He was a handsome fellow." 

"Oh, Big Mac!" Nepeta leaps over to lend her pony knowledge. 

You direct a stare at her to say _Go Back To Your Inuyasha You Furry Shit_ as much as possible through your shades, but you know its pointless. Nepeta has an immunity to intimidation. She's too used to your shit by now, plus she's besty best fwends five-ever with fucking Equius. Even you're intimidated by Equius. You can respect his intensity (hell you're one to talk) and after spending an extended amount of time in shop class you were suprised at how cool he can be. He likes horses, MLP, robots, beating up robots, being swole af, and has a hardcore enthusiasm for homoerotic art. He'd almost be the perfect guy for you, if someone like YOU wasn't the last thing you wanted or needed in a boyfriend. Also that guy is just permantly sweaty. You're nothing if not a guy that values good personal hygiene. 

She absolutely refuses to back down, and you feel a piece of your soul crumble in defeat, 

"Thanks, Nep. I suppose Dirk slash Big McIntosh is canon now. There's no denying the immense compatibility between the seventeen year old boy and a cartoon horse that happens to be a thicc A F dude. I can see it now, the two of us chilling in Sweet Apple Acres wearing matching horse collars, munching oats and saying "sup" and "yup" to each other all day long. I hope Granny Smith gives me her blessing, marrying off her only grandson. Fuck, Dave will be estactic, being the brother in law of the heir to the apple family empire. He'll be balls deep in as much apple juice as he wants until the day he dies probably drowning in the stuff, and it'll all be worth signing myself away to a life of guzzling giant horse co--"

John has literally collapsed on you for the amount he's hysterically laughing. Jake and Nepeta seem unaffected by your bullshit rants and have been politely listening, possibly even engaged, to your freestyle crossover yaoi, but John has reached his limit. 

"Oh- My- Fucking--- GOD, Dirk you're-" John wheezes "such SUCH A FUCKING-- nerd, holy shit-- how are you even--" 

Nepeta smiles slyly, "Im heading back to my seat now but Duuurrrrk, send me a link to that fanfic later okay..." 

Your unfamiliarity with physical contact and your colossal gayness has left you completely unqualified to deal with John Egbert being head down in your lap, sobbing with uncontrollable laughter. You go completely still, pleading to the anime gods that someone will do something to help you. Jake is just standing there like an idiot. Smiling at this beautiful scene of manly comradery. 

Eventually you collect enough strings of thought together to decide to simply stand up, letting John crash to the ground still giggling. 

Tavros joins Jake's side, looking nervously at the display before him. 

"Did Dirk just uh- beat up John? Is he- is he crying?" He doesn't sound THAT concerned or suprised. 

"Only with the power of his words! Dirk told a rip roaring story, an absolute doozy! I told you about his humour, didn't I?" 

"Uh..." Tavros flicks his eyes between his boyfriend, his boyfriends ex boyfriend, and the kid lying on the floor.

Jake touches your arm and you flinch. You're not sure how much more of this situation you can take, your blood is pounding in your ears. 

You're not sure if Jake sees that you're getting overwhelmed, some residue of understanding for the length of time he's known you and put up with your shit. Or perhaps he simply wants to turn his attention back to his boyfriend. But he smiles and leads Tavros away to catch up with other club members. 

You flop down in the chair at the manga table, and try to breathe. Just breathe, Strider. In. And out. 

John finally goes quiet and sits up to rest his head against your leg. You're already as tense as you can be, and it does not help. 

"You really are funny Dirk!" He looks up, wiping some tears away. "You kinda remind me of Dave when you ramble like that! I've never heard you say so many words in one go before! And over Ponies!" 

"Yeah, well." You try to hide the bitterness in your voice. 

"I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I think it's great! You're great to hang out with."

His face goes soft and he rests a hand on your arm.

"You're breathing really heavily." He notes, sympathy in his voice. 

"No I'm not." You retort. 

He watches you for a moment, then decides to let it go. He turns to watch the screen, still leaning on your leg, but his hand drops away and you miss the contact.

Breathe in, and out.

"You can't possibly read the subs from over here." You mutter to him. "And this episode is pretty good."

You jiggle him off your leg and hold out a hand to help him up. He's a bit heavy but you can handle it. You really hope you're not blushing as you let go of each others hands and walk together to return to your seats. You continue watching the anime in comfortable silence, legs gently pressed together under the desk. 

* * *

John lingers around after everyone's gone, including his sister and your vice president who left as soon as possible, probably to continue watching thier anime and to leave you to do all the tidying up, fucking thanks a lot. 

You lock away the manga in the tiny club cupboard you're permitted by the school, counting as they go despite already knowing no one touched them this meeting. You feel Johns eyes on you as you fiddle the lock shut. 

"So, does Jake even watch anime?" 

You grin just a little bit. 

"Nope, he finds it confusing." 

"Should he even be allowed in the club?" John scoffs, aligning his steps with yours as you leave the classroom. 

"Hmm, I suppose that is technically against the rules." 

"Yeah, he's not exactly a 'serious otaku'!" John protests "you banned me for thinking Avatar was made in Japan! I know it was only for a week that time, but still!" 

You're having an absolutely wild thought here which is definitely in your own messed up imagination and a projection of your grotesque insecurities onto reality but--you imagine you sense a tinge of jealousy. 

"At least that show is good. He thinks Avatar is that movie with the CGI blue furries." You sigh, slyly sideeyeing John. 

"Oh no! That film is hideous!" John laughs. 

"It sure is." 

"He made me sit through the whole thing one Christmas!" 

You hold up four fingers "Four times."

"No!" 

"He would have made me watch it every week if he'd had his way." 

"God, he's such a pain in the butt!" John laughs. "sometimes I just can not stand him. How do you put up with him!" 

"You're the one related to him" You scoff. 

"You dated him!" 

"Oof don't remind me." 

The two of you laugh softly as you walk in sync along the corridor. You're hyper aware of his proximity to you, his shoulder dangerously close to grazing against yours. 

"Why..." John looks down at the floor for a sec, still gently grinning "Did you date him? I mean, if you find him annoying too." 

"Like that's any of your business." 

"Oh really? Pfft guess I'll have to assume you just have really bad taste!" 

"I kissed _you_ didn't I." 

John stops and turns to you, smile wide and open mouthed like he's scandalised. He's staring right at you, at your glasses, where your eyes are. You don't know what that means. Was that bad? Was that good? Did he think it was funny? Has you mentioning it broken some kind of oath you had going on? He's still smiling at you, cheeks squished and swollen. You can feel your heart pound in your ears. 

"You sure did." he finally says. 

"Or, you kissed me." You say, "I think I remember it more happening that way." 

"Hmm, I don't think so!" 

"OK so our mouths just kinda, met each others, with a mind of thier own." 

"like... Kiss seeking missiles!" 

You can't help it, he's such a dork you have to let out a snort, leaning down to muffle it into your hand. You feel embarrassed for both of you. There's no way that was worthy of a laugh, but he laughs back and you like that, _a lot_. John nudges his shoulder against yours, and ducks his head down to look at what he can of your face. 

"Hey, Dirk." 

You look up. 

"Missile incoming--" 

He presses his face into yours and kisses you, and you want to cringe at the cheesy execution but you're kind of just glad he's kissing you again. You kind of feel like you've been waiting for it all week. You kinda think, _hey why did I wait a whole week for this? Why was I pretending I wanted to do literally anything that wasn't kissing John Egbert?_

The moment passes and John takes his face away, grins softly, and gives you a stoic Strider nod before dashing - practically skipping - off down the hall. 

You spend the next few minutes focusing on breathing. In. Out. 

OK, fuck it. John was definitely better than Tavros. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like Inuyasha a lot, but its hard to talk about it more than just "haha tsundere furry go brrrrrr" when there's drama with exs and new and/or potential boyfriends and mild panic attacks happening 
> 
> If anyone has any anime suggestions for the club in future chapters please comment 😏


	3. Ramen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You may have a bit of Davekat and a sprinkling of DaveJohn. As a treat.

TG: hey john you around  
TG: Mom is working tonight Rox and Rose are with thier SOs and Dirk is out too apparently  
TG: you wanna come play smash   
GT: Can't sorry! I'm on a date!   
TG: youre what   
GT: ramenselfie.png  
TG: oh  
TG: k  
TG: are you eating noodles with dirk  
TG: is this an anime club thing   
GT: nope its just me and Dirk!  
GT: being weebs eating weeb food   
TG: cool so like. you guys are actually hanging out   
GT: yeah Dave!  
TG: like I know you're my BFF and he's my brother and he's chill AF  
TG: and you are too ofc  
TG: just like. in really different ways  
TG: is this some stupid prank  
GT: no??  
GT: although now u mention it I should add a bunch of wisabi to his miso if he goes to pee  
GT: hehehehehe  
TG: no I meant  
TG: nvm  
TG: so you two are genuinely hanging out   
GT: yes Dave! Genuinely! You don't have to keep asking!  
TG: k well  
TG: not that Im not having a solid time chilling by myself with an empty house for once in my life  
TG: but you know Im always down for hanging out getting grub  
TG: you know that  
TG: you dont have to get some backup Strider to wine and dine you  
TG: I mean I know thats literally the opposite of the scenario you have rn  
TG: even though I have no idea what the scenario is coz I dont understand you guys dynamic   
GT: Dave  
GT: are you jealous???   
TG: what no  
TG: what part of any of this would make you think that  
TG: Im commenting objectively on how Im the superior strider company and its kinda sad that you think you have to downgrade   
GT: don't worry Dave there is never too much Strider for me :)   
TG: uh ok  
TG: you little strider-holic   
GT: also Dave you have your own boyfriend  
TG: what do you mean own boyfriend   
GT: it's date night and dave is all aloooone   
TG: daves hooked up with the future president of the united states  
TG: so his date is kinda busy rn working on that   
GT: alright if you are that looooonneely me and dirk can come join you!   
TG: yeah  
TG: great  
TG: you and dirk  
TG: and me  
TG: that's a  
TG: dream team right there  
TG: Striders with a side of Egbert  
TG: or a Strider sandwich and you're the meat  
TG: ok shit no why the fuck did I say that  
TG: you actually gonna come over   
GT: yeah but wait up I'm sure dirk is gonna go to bathroom any minute now  
GT: gotta bide my time...   
TG: right have fun with that  
TG: see u later  
TG: both of you 

* * *

TG: hey dude  
TG: wanna hear something weird  
TG: like twilight zone weird  
TG: babe you there  
CG: DAVE I HEAR SOMETHING WEIRD EVERYTIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH AT ME.  
CG: SO SURE. I'M USED TO IT.   
TG: that's a rude way to describe my ace macking skills but ok  
TG: listen  
TG: john and my bro are hanging out  
TG: like theyre out at a noodle place eating noodles while I'm here sat on my noodle-less ass in an empty house on a friday night staring at the smash bros intro scene eating stale doritos  
CG: LOOK IM NOT JUST GONNA DROP EVERYTHING AND COME OVER THERE JUST BECAUSE YOURE NOODLELESS ON A NON-SCHOOL NIGHT  
TG: no im not asking for that as dope as that would be I know you got shit on  
TG: im just  
TG: I dont get it  
TG: its like they're playing a prank on me or doing some ironic shit except those are really different things i cant see how either could be doing the other  
TG: Dirk doesnt socialise at the best of times and not with someone like john  
TG: I thought he kinda hated john   
CG: SO THEY DON'T HATE EACH OTHER. THAT'S GOOD RIGHT  
YOUR "BROS" GETTING ALONG   
TG: but  
CG: BUT?  
CG: WITHOUT YOU. IS THAT IT   
TG: well yeah  
TG: yeah  
TG: urgh and john said the two of them would hang out with me later  
TG: which thanks for the pity party and also Id kinda like to hang out with my best bro without my actual real life bro being there too   
CG: OK BUT  
CG: WHY  
CG: WHY IS THAT NOT OK  
CG: YOU SERIOUSLY CONFUSE ME WITH YOUR COMPLEX EMOTIONAL FAMILY SHIT  
CG: DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR BROTHER  
TG: no, hes chill  
CG: DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH JOHN  
TG: no  
CG: DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE TWO OF THEM BEING TOGETHER   
TG: I  
TG: maybe?   
CG: WELL NO SHIT YOU DO  
CG: THAT'S OBVIOUS TO ANYONE WITH EYEBALLS WHO WOULD ALSO BE READING YOUR LITTLE CONFESSIONAL HERE  
CG: I'M NOT SAYING IT'S NOT ***VALID*** TO FEEL THIS WAY  
CG: BUT MAYBE YOU NEED TO CONSIDER THAT IT'S NOT A BAD THING AND WHATEVER ABANDONMENT OR SELF ESTEEM SHIT IS HAPPENING TO YOU IS JUST YOU FEELING SHIT ABOUT YOURSELF  
CG: FOR NO GODDAMN REASON   
TG: babe you really get me   
CG: BITE ME STRIDER  
CG: I DO GET YOU  
CG: TRY TO ENJOY THE TIME WITH TWO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT HANGING OUT  
CG: BUT ALSO TELL ME LATER IF THERE'S ANYTHING WEIRD FOR US TO LOOK INTO COZ NGL THOSE TWO ARE JUST A WEIRD FUCKING PAIRING   
TG: see you get it  
TG: dont say pairing though  
TG: theyre not like  
TG: a pair  
TG: theyre not  
TG: you know   
CG: IDK DAVE   
TG: what do you mean you dont know   
CG: WELL LOOKING AT DIRK IN PARTICULAR  
CG: UNLESS HE'S SOMEHOW BEEN WILLINGLY LED BY EGBERT ON A GENUINE FRIEND MEET OR SOME KIND OF "" PRANK "" WHICH IS CHARACTERISTLY BELOW HIM  
CG: IS THERE ANY OTHER REASON WHY HE MIGHT SPEND AN EXTENDED AMOUNT OF TIME, IN A PUBLIC FOOD VENUE NO LESS, WITH AN ATTRACTIVE GUY  
TG: oh fuck  
CG: YEAH   
TG: oh fuuuck  
CG: YEEEAH  
TG: You're saying John is attractive?   
CG: DAVE  
TG: is John attractive?   
CG: DAVE  
CG: WE'VE BOTH BEEN THERE  
CG: REMEMBER???   
TG: shit   
CG: LOOK. I'M NOT AN EXPERT ON DIRK  
CG: YOU ARE PROBABLY THE ONE CLOSEST TO THAT ROLE  
CG: PERHAPS YOU CAN ASK HIS FRIENDS OR WHATEVER ONES HE HAS LEFT   
TG: ugh yeah  
TG: lets see  
TG: im pretty sure hes still friends with jake but I would seriously doubt jake has any better intel coz well  
CG: HE'S JAKE   
TG: he's jake  
TG: and jane I haven't seen in months   
CG: OH YEAH SHE'S A BITCH NOW   
TG: what  
CG: YEAH SHE'S LIKE A WEIRD REPUBLICAN BITCH NOW  
CG: ITS A WHOLE THING   
TG: well damn  
TG: what a waste   
CG: SERIOUSLY DAVE  
TG: just saying  
TG: but I have no idea what things are like between him and roxy now either  
TG: we all live under the same roof but rox is kinda never here they have thier own shit now  
TG: while dirk is just like, stuck in his little anime club   
CG: AND NOW JOHN   
TG: seriously karkat   
CG: JUST SAYING   
TG: ok well I guess Dirk has no friends its official  
TG: maybe hes desperate for human interaction that can be the only answer  
CG: DAVE, JOHN IS OUR FRIEND   
TG: yeah I know he's like my BEST friend which is part of why this feels so weird   
CG: I'M NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND??????   
TG: ofc you are babe  
TG: youre like  
CG: STOP TYPING RIGHT THIS INSTANCE I WAS FUCKING JOKING  
CG: LOOK STOP DWELLING ON YOUR WEIRD FEELINGS AND STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT IT AND JUST SEE HOW TONIGHT GOES  
CG: AND DON'T MAKE IT WEIRD   
TG: weirder than it already is  
CG: EXACTLY  
CG: ALSO  
CG: YOU CAN  
CG: YOU KNOW  
CG: BUG ME ABOUT IT IF YOU WANT   
TG: I know  
TG: <3   
CG: YEAH YEAH TALK TO YOU LATER DOUCHEBAG  
CG: <3  
TG: Later babe

* * *

Your name is Dirk Strider and you find yourself sitting in your own living room with an attractive guy after what could definitely be considered a date, and you're not making out with him.

Probably because your goddamn brother is there too.

Its not like you have to be attached at the lips but like, you're kinda disappointed you finally have a guy round your place and it's not even an option. Instead the two of them are playing Cuphead, arguing over whose fault it is they keep messing up, and occasionally asking if you want to swap with either of them to play. You decline each time. You'd rather wallow in resentment.

The two of them are having way too much fun as per usual, the difference being that this time you're awkwardly watching them rather than awkwardly hiding in your room. If you hid in your room now though you'd be giving in. Also if you decided to join them and have fun you'd be giving in. There is no choice but to linger and brood. 

There is one other thing. John occasionally turns round to smile at you. He points things out to you and asks you questions. He doesn't seem to notice or think unusual your sour mood, but you can't really blame him seeing as you're pretty much always like this around people.

Eventually, once the two of them have died for the uptenth time, and suggest setting up Smash Bros, you stand abruptly and say, "John follow me I wanna show you something."

Its awkward and intense and completely in character for you. Dave doesn't even look up.

John casually replies "got some new Pony sheets to show off?" to which you narrow your eyes visable to no one and say "shut up just come it's an anime thing". Dave seems busy with finding the next game to set up so this is your chance. 

Once in your room you close the door behind you and immediately forget your plan of action. Whilst watching these two idiots fail the same level repeatedly you'd imagined a dramatic gesture of sweeping Egbert away and pining him against a wall out of Daves line of sight. Now you were just standing awkwardly in your own room with a boy you like, like you've never been alone with another human before in your life.

John looks around, casual as ever, asking "So what are we looking at". 

You remember how many times he's been to this house, how many days and nights he's spent here. It's like a second home to him, he's as relaxed and comfortable as possible. Sometimes he seems more at home here than you do.

When you don't reply, he moves closer to you, smile widening, "Dirk. Did you bring me in here to make out?"

You are silent for a whole two seconds.

"Yes, yes I did" you give in.

"You're such a dork" he _literally_ snorts with laughter "Please make out with me on your Ponyland sheets!"

"What the fuck is a Ponyland, and these are just regular ass sheets." 

"Dirk I absolutely refuse to kiss you unless this bed has ponies on it!" 

You grab his shoulders and shove him in the direction of the bed, and he flops down still chortling. And--slightly flustered by your own mildly sexually aggressive move--you slowly and stiffly lay yourself down next to his sprawled out body, despite it being your own damn bed. He rolls on his side towards you, suddenly tucked up against you, and reaches out for your glasses (you remove them yourself and put them safely out of his reach). Then there you are, face bare and open, and his so close its out of focus. You admire the pools of blue before thier dark lashes flutter shut and your vision is eclipsed by his face as he presses his lips to yours. His free arm wraps around you and its feels so nice you wonder how long it's been since you've been held. Since Jake? Since childhood? 

You really can't be here for long so you try to keep it short and sweet.

"So we're probably agreed that Dave probably shouldn't know that we're-"

You should have thought about where the sentence was going before starting.

"-kissing?" John offers, and you nod as if that was exactly what you were going to say without a doubt.

"He'd probably be a bit grossed out"

"Yeah I don't want him being weird about it"

"He's a bit of a drama queen"

"He'd probably have some emotional crisis and be pacing and mumble rapping for hours trying to process it"

"Haha yeah"

You both fall into a pensive silence, and Speak of the Devil, you hear footsteps in the hallway. You freeze. John is a step ahead of you, playfully shoving you aside and jumping up, exclaiming "ooh Dirk, your sword is sooo big! I don't think I could handle it!" 

You shove your shades on just as Dave pushs the door open, establishing a frigid up right position on the bed that's completely natural for you. You raise your eyebrows at Dave as if to say 'this guy, amiright?' and reply, 

"That's a katana, Egbert. And it's regular sized, katanas don't need to be large-" 

"it's what you do with them that counts, right?" 

Dave butts in, "So we Smash-ing?" 

John snorts giddily, a bit flushed in the face.

Dave directed his question at John specifically you notice, which you can't blame him for as you weren't really participating in the gaming sesh before. But John looks at you expectantly, so you sigh dramatically and get up, 

"Alright someone needs to put you two out of your misery and show you how to Nintendos. I call Bowser." 

* * *

John leaves at a reasonable hour when his dad politely honks outside to drive him safely home. You ponder if you could have walked him home and gotten another kiss but you tell yourself you're being way too gay and retire your room after a good-night fist bump to Dave.

A few hours of messing around on the computer later you get into bed to scroll on your phone for a couple more hours--only to find a card waiting for you beneath your sheets. On the front is a charmingly crude drawing of a person with spikey yellow hair and triangle shades, black stick legs and a tshirt saying "I ❤️ NARTO". The persons stick arm is connected to the hoof of the worst drawing of a horse you've ever seen in your life. It's bright orange with a red apple on its enlarged butt cheek. In fact, many parts of its body is swollen and lumpy in what you can only guess is supposed to be muscles judging by the arrow pointing to him labelled "BUFF". You appreciate the fact that he didn't look up what Big Mac actually looks like but assumed he was orange to match your tastes. The two figures are encircled by a giant heart. Opening it up the inside reads "Dearest Dirk, Id love to horse around with you, love from your beloved Big Mac". That barely counts as a horse pun, you think, but holy shit you love it. 

At the bottom of the message, looking a bit out of place with the rest of the colour scheme, is a small blue heart.

This is absolutely the most romantic thing you've ever received. And not just because it's the only romantic thing you've ever recieved that didn't involve your dick. When the fuck did he even sneak this in here? 

You give the card a little kiss and place it lovingly by your bedside table, and turn back to the computer. You grab your drawing tablet and plug that bad boy in. You know exactly what you need to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karkat is that kid that's studying and working like mad to get a scholarship to a really good school to study politics and economics coz yeah, his dream is to the President. Daves dream is to be the First Gentleman. And to be a music and art entrepreneur. He's not sure what he's gonna do for college but he'll work it out.  
> Jane got involved with the school council and republican politics in Junior year and has become a bit of a WASP in the wake of the drifting apart of the alpha kids' friendship. More on that to come. I just didn't want to make it look like I'm being mean to Jane. I like Jane as a political powerhouse and a bit of a b*tch. Just not, you know, Theresa May. Everyone goes through shit in high school, but that doesn't have to last forever. 
> 
> Thank you for waiting for the chapter <3


End file.
